This Christmas Eve was the first night of Chanukah (an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence), and it seems like an appropriate time to spend a moment sharing some thoughts on the subject of wishing good tidings around the holidays. When I was a little kid - maybe 4 or 5 - my best friend Bobby Helmstedder brought me a gift and a card and told me that my Christmas present could be opened Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, but not before. It was wrapped in shiny red paper and tied with a white ribbon (it turned out to be an awesome AAA-battery-operated robot called a Zeroid). I have never been more psyched in my life. A Christmas present! There was something mystical about having to wait for just the right moment to open it. How could I resist?! I was hooked. For my entire Jewish life, which is to say my entire life, I have been privileged to have received many Christmas cards and gifts, been treated to the most loving and warm Christmas Eves and Days, and generally have felt extremely lucky to have been included in the Christmas celebrations of those I love and who love me.

Somewhere around adolescence I began to feel surprised when I was wished a Merry Christmas by strangers. It never bothered me; I simply returned the greeting and went on my merry way. I have been wished Merry Christmas by store clerks, neighbors, bus drivers, postmen, colleagues, passers-by, train conductors, and every manner of individual with whom I cross paths this time of year. It is a fact of life: I will be wished Merry Christmas. And I have always been touched to have been offered such a lovely salutation. It felt somehow inclusive. It felt like it was a hand warmly extended. Lately, however, things have seemed to shift.

Happy Holidays has been around awhile (click here for a history) , and it seems like a pretty nice greeting too, especially when you aren't sure what - if anything - someone celebrates. As I mentioned, I am surprised rather than offended when offered a Christmas greeting. But, Happy Holidays implicitly accepts that you may not celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, or anything at all, and I must admit is a little easier on my ears than a Christmas greeting. Happy Holidays is nice way of saying, "What a great time of year; I wish you well no matter what you celebrate, if you celebrate at all."

(Incidentally, it's also easier on my ears than Happy Chanukah, seeing that I am not at all religious. Jews get pretty excited about Purim, but I can't imagine wishing strangers a Happy Purim. "Spring is Here!" seems a little more inclusive, though I doubt I will be accosting anyone with either greeting this March.)

Regrettably, Happy Holidays has morphed into a caricaturish poster child for political correctness. And there is a backlash against its usage. "I'm goddam tired of being politically correct!!" It's like people feel they've been coerced into saying Happy Holidays for too long, and they find themselves suddenly free of the burden.

Happy Holidays is a polite alternative that offers warmth without making others feel excluded from the celebration. Re-replacing Happy Holidays with Merry Christmas feels somehow - and I can only speak as a Jew - symbolic, and not in a very loving way. Lately, when greeted with Merry Christmas, I find myself wondering if it's a subtle retaliation for having to endure the indignity of wishing people Happy Holidays. A friend of a friend on facebook was blaming the controversy on Obama: "For 8 years Happy Holidays was shoved down our throats. It's MERRY CHRISTMAS, so get over it." That kind of comment makes me wince; it makes Merry Christmas feel like retribution. And it inspired this blog post.

I suspect that some, maybe most, people who display "Keep Christ in Christmas" car magnets on their trunks and tailgates do so as a friendly reminder to fellow Christians to focus on the spiritual rather than commercial aspects of the holiday. At the same time, I do wonder if, for some, the intended message is, "I am not interested in anymore PC bullshit, and I will wish Merry Christmas to anyone I damn well please."

Merry Christmas was a phrase that warmed my heart for many years. But the cultural landscape has changed since I was a kid, and an alternative seasonal greeting has been adopted. In the spirit of the season, it feels civil use to use terms that seek to emphasize our commonalities rather than our differences.

Anyway, it's Christmas Day, and I'm about to stroll into town to pick up some bagels. I will be wished Merry Christmas half-a-dozen times by the time I reach the bagel shop, and I will return the greeting. Most of those folks will be offering a kind greeting in a sincere way. But some may share the sentiments of the facebook friend quoted above. Disquietingly, I find it hard to know what Merry Christmas really means these days.